


Left Alone

by stressy_boy



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Did I Mention Angst?, Gore, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Survivor Guilt, possible implication of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-27 01:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20752055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressy_boy/pseuds/stressy_boy
Summary: I'm sorry, kid...





	Left Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the warnings <3   
Enjoy!

Nick Ghazi, con-artist, gambler, sleaze ball and gang member. He's the type of man that your momma tells you to avoid at all costs. He lurks within the shadows in back alleys; waiting for a poor innocent soul to walk into his trap like a spider in their web. 

Or at least, that's what _he use to be_. Not now, as much as he abhors the fact - he's a changed man. Apocalypse and the end of the world really does that to you. At the start, Nick had ended up grouped with a bunch of people he probably would have scammed back when the world wasn't going to shit. Coach (who the hell goes by _'Coach'_ in the apocalypse?), he was a 6ft tall, black man who oozed this disgusting fatherly aura that made Nick want to curl his nose in disgust. Coach didn't seem to appreciate the gambling man much and that was fine with him. Then, there was this pretty little woman called Rochelle, she said she was a news producer or something- Nick never bothered to put the information to use. He tried his luck with her, flirted when he could but all that got him was a snarl and a disgusted huff, so it seems Nick wasn't getting anywhere there. Then there was the youngest of the group: Ellis. 

_**Oh, Ellis. **_

How he got on Nick's nerves the moment he opened his mouth. Whether the man was purposefully doing it or he was just unaware of how _stupid_ his stories are. Ellis was a 23 year old mechanic, heart of gold and oblivious to his mortality. He was definitely the type that Nick would chew up and spit out and he did. He yelled at him, glared at Ellis - told him rudely to shut up when the hick would start talking about that fool named Keith - Hell! He even made bets on which way the Jockey would take him. (That one got him a death glare from his other two teammates.) But after a few death experience, you tend to bond with people more than you would like to. 

Nick found himself actually _caring_ for his teammates after they fled the Vannah and Ellis drove the car through a plate glass window. At first he didn't know how to handle it, became more aggressive and sarcastic and perhaps... started a few fights but in the end if one of them were hurt (It was usually Ellis, the kid is a zombie magnet.), Nick was there to help them, give them whatever they needed with a typical harsh comment of _'Don't even say anything.'_, like it would save his pride. 

What came to a surprise for the gambler was, well - ending up actually liking Ellis' stories when he got to hear them. The young mechanic's drawl was actually rather soothing, thought Nick never said that to his face. Sometimes, when Ellis and Nick were left on a double watch with each other, the gambler would let Ellis just blabber on; sometimes Nick would interject with a question and Ellis would eagerly answer or Nick would laugh at one of Keith's stupid antics it was... some semblance of normality. Like they weren't on the edge of death everyday they left the CEDA approved saferooms. 

There was one thing about Ellis that always stood out to Nick and that was the younger's unwavering optimism. He always seemed to find the rainbow in the storm, he supposes it was a nice counterbalance to Nick's pessimism (_'I'm not pessimistic! I'm being realistic, Overalls.' _). So, when Nick was woken one night to a soft crying noise, he jolted up thinking a Witch was in the saferoom but quickly discarded it as it wasn't possible; they had bolted the door shut. No, instead it was Ellis and he was curled up tight next to a window. His hat was next to his socked feet and head buried in his arms that rested on his knees, shoulder's shaking violently as the kid obviously tried to quiet himself. 

And that's when Nick felt it, the weight of their reality. It crushed and caved his chest in, bile threatened to rush from his stomach and out his throat but he held it back. The conman hadn't realised he was relying on Ellis for hope, the kid seemed to be invincible and enjoying the apocalypse from Nick's point of view but it seems that he was so very, very wrong. The happiness, the seemingly never ending optimism - it was all just a coping method for the young mechanic. How had Nick not seen it? Doesn't he pride himself on being able to read people? It seems to have finally suffocated Ellis and Nick doesn't know what to do. He stays in his place, statue still and never looking away from the crying young man before he finally stands with his jacket in hand and slowly walks over to Ellis. Nick's actions surprise him: he takes his beloved-use-to-be-white-suit-jacket and places it over the mechanic, like it would shield him from their predicament. He pulls the man close into his chest(to his surprise again, Ellis allows it, never looking at the older man.), Nick's chin resting atop dirty, curly hair, he didn't even realise he spoke; his voice was so delicate and barely there: 

_"We're going to be okay, kid."_

He was wrong. So very, very wrong. 

The first of them to go was Coach; the man had sacrificed himself into leading a Tank away from them... they found his body mangled a few blocks down. The football coach had been ripped apart like paper. His top half was at least five meters away from his bottom half; innards out on display for everyone to see like some realistic pinata, eyes dull and opened wide; always staring. Nick had to pull the other two away, Rochelle kicking and screaming and Ellis... Ellis, he just seemed to... shut down and it worried Nick deeply. What did Coach leave him with? He was their leader and now by default - It's now Nick's job and he can't lead... but he'll try his damn best. For Coach. 

Then it was Rochelle. Either she couldn't handle the fact Coach was dead or she just... lost faith but as they ran in the Sugar Mill, on the way back with gas cans to give to Virgil so they can get to safety; she had startled a Witch. Nick couldn't say if it was on accident or she intended on shooting the anorexic infected but he knew they couldn't save her. Everything became muffled like the gambler's head was ducked under water; he couldn't make out Ellis' screams or the gunshots. He just watched as the long clawed, scantily clad infected ripped into Rochelle's stomach; spraying herself in blood and guts like she was a kid digging through mud. Rochelle was dead in seconds and that's when Nick came back into the world when he felt a hand on his bicep and his jaded green eyes looked into wet baby blues. They had to keep moving. 

And they did. 

It was just two of them on the boat, sat side by side with no space between them. They swayed gently with the waves of the water and Nick couldn't even bring himself to feel seasick. He must have been in a world of his own, because he jumped when he felt something warm on his hand. The conman looked down to see Ellis' hand intertwined with his own, a spread of comfort washed over Nick's chest and he gripped the younger man's hand back tighter. 

_'Get me through this, kid.'_

They where almost there, safety was in reach and just across the bridge, all they would have to do is cross it and they're done. They're _**safe.**_ Nick and Ellis stood as they watched the bridge lower, side by side, guns in one hand and their other? Laced with each other. Nick turned to the mechanic and felt his heart twist when Ellis looked back at him. His face worn but he gave the suit wearing man his thousand watt smile and in return, Nick gave him a smirk. 

"We're goin'a git through it, Nick." 

"I know, Killer." 

"Fer Coach and 'Ro."

"For Coach and 'Ro."

Their hands broke as the gate slammed down and they ran side by side, guns blazing and killing every infected that came into their line of sight. Feral and bloodied teeth and hands tried to attack the two but never succeeded. It was going so well and the first time in a long time, Nick felt hope - hope that he and Ellis would get through it, that they would survive. He could hear the chopper all they had to do was jump on the bus and run. 

They got closer and closer. Nick's guns had long run out of ammo and he was forced to push the infected and dodge them. The gambler was the first one to be greeted by the mercenary personal but he paid no mind to them. Not when he heard the telltale sound of a screeching Hunter. The sound was only comparable to a cat's nails on a chalkboard. It was a sound that was guaranteed to always make you flinch. Nick had turned to warn Ellis and tell him to hurry up but he was greeted by the sight of the hooded infected colliding with the hick- sending him down on to his back with a scream. 

Nick's first reaction was to bolt towards Ellis but an arm around his waist stopped him and pulled him back. Nick had no idea who was screaming because it surely wasn't him. It was a scream that was panicked and terrified and yelling the young mechanic's name as the conman tried to break the army personal's grip on him as they continued to pull him towards the helicopter. The Hunter had already sunk his claws into the meat of Ellis's ribs and began pulling, blood painted the floor, the Hunter and Ellis. The young man screamed bloody murder and Nick could only watch. 

Watch as the Hunter ripped into Ellis, watch as the mechanic's head slowly turned towards him, watch as he read the lips and they had said to him; _'I love you.'_

Nick had never felt so broken in his life as he sat in the back of the helicopter with his head in his hands. God, when was the last time that he cried? When he was ten? Doesn't remember and it's not important. He watched Ellis die. He watched the man... die. Nick didn't know what to do, he didn't know whether he wanted to beat the army personal's face in or jump out the helicopter. As he sat, the thoughts had started to crawl into his mind; 

_'Why me? They were all good people, so why do I get to live? I'm a bad man, I've done bad things... so why does an assclown like me get to survive this shit?' _

Survivor's Guilt. Nick knows what it's called but it hangs over him like a wet blanket, sticking to every corner in his mind and everything feels heavy. In all of the man's life he has never felt guilt for anything, but now he sits in his.. room, even if you could call it that, Magnum Pistol in hand; on the edge of his cot. 

_"I'm sorry, kid."_


End file.
